Photo of Rehtaeh Parsons at a vigil
This article on Rehtaeh Parsons proves in a tragic sort of way the Catholic church is right when it comes to marriage and contraception. The kids in this story learned all about contraception in public school and nothing about God and His plan for their sexuality. In the end they got drunk and didn't use the blessed condom they been taught to put their trust in during their threesome anyways. Soon after, one young person was dead and two other lives were ruined. It would have been much better had the children been taught there was a God who loved them and who created sex to be shared in a marriage covenant with one spouse.
Another lesson we see here is the false feminist narrative that women share no blame in their poor judgments, but that boys must be demonized and never redeemed for their errors. Distributing sexual images without one's consent is harmful and a law against the practice is reasonable. At the time of this sordid threesome to which Rehtaeh freely consented there was no law against distributing images and clearly the boys and Rehtaeh all believed the drunken orgy they were partaking in was a joke anyways, so why not send the pics and brag about it?
Maybe Rehtaeh's mom should reflect in the values Rehtaeh was being brought up on rather than running around town calling the boys rapists and murderers. Maybe one should also call out the girls who were bullying Rehtaeh and calling her a slut? In actual fact Rehtaeh was behaving in a way that meets the definition of a slut, of course that did not mean she should have been bullied. It would have been good for Rehtaeh, had there been an adult with a moral compass in her life who could have grabbed her and taught her to respect herself and find a purpose in her life that did not involve marijuana, alcohol and sex with boys she did not know. At some point maybe our schools and media might consider calling young people away from mind altering substances and promiscuity and to upholding God's plan for our lives and His will for our sexuality? I know in "progressive" Canada such a deviation from Sodom's narrative would almost be blasphemy, on the other hand changing the narrative would go a long way towards averting tragedies like this one.
Bill Whatcott"The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."
Romans 13:12-14Christie Blatchford: Boy in notorious Rehtaeh Parsons photo talks for first time about what happened
January 15, 2015http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/15 ... -happened/
HALIFAX — It was like a galling new version of the ancient American comic strip which ran in some Sunday newspapers in the 1900s, but whose punchline gag endures even now – the strip’s two awkward Frenchmen frozen in an excess of politesse.
“After you, Alphonse.”
“No, you first, my dear Gaston.”
And this was how the notorious picture of Rehtaeh Parsons — naked from the waist down, hanging out a window after she’d thrown up, unaware that the half-naked boy behind her was looking over his shoulder to a camera and giving a merry thumbs up—came to be taken.
According to the boy, after Rehtaeh had collected herself somewhat and purportedly invited them to pick up where they’d left off, he and his friend did an Alphonse-and-Gaston as they bickered about who would go next with the then-15-year-old.
The boy was then just 16 himself. He pleaded guilty to one count of distributing child pornography last month and was Thursday sentenced to a year’s probation, with orders to get counselling and stay away from alcohol. The other boy earlier pleaded guilty to production of child pornography and was given a conditional discharge, with a year’s probation.
Their identities are protected by the Youth Criminal Justice Act.
Rehtaeh’s name is allowed to be published only because her parents, Glen Canning and Leah Parsons, fought to have her exempted from a publication ban that prohibits the identification of victims in child pornography.
In an exclusive interview this week with Postmedia, the boy in the picture, flanked by his parents, sat down to talk for the first time about what happened that night. The boy says he and the other boy and Rehtaeh were having consensual sex when “you could tell she was getting ready to get sick, so we hopped up, I opened the window and said ‘You can get sick here,’ so she said ‘Okay,’ and got sick out the window.”‘We were kind of laughing about the night’
Rehtaeh went to the bathroom, and when she returned, the boy said, “We had a smoke out the window.
“We were like laughing and stuff, we were behind her, like giggling and stuff because she had her shirt on and no pants and she was just like hanging out the window.
“We were kind of laughing about the night, she was like, ‘You guys can keep going,’ and me and [the other boy], we’re like pointing at each other.
“Like, ‘You go ahead’ and he said ‘You go ahead,’ so I was like whatever, I go on [Rehtaeh], I just posed for the picture and he took his cellphone out and took it.”
The power of that single image was described by Nova Scotia Provincial Court Judge Gregory Lenehan Thursday as “the domino” that “started the cascading events that led to her death” about 17 months after the picture was snapped.
Now just-turned 20, the boy had sent the picture, on two different occasions about two weeks apart, to two friends.
Both recipients were girls, said prosecutor Alex Smith, demonstrating that neither gender has the patent on adolescent cruelty.
It is but one of the contradictions of the case that the recipients of the picture, who passed it on to others at Cole Harbour District High School, who passed it on to still more, were themselves female.
Chief among the other contradictions is that the boy Judge Lenehan said had “lit the wildfire, so to speak” is such a slight young man, bright, well-spoken and even capable, albeit in that awkward-bordering-on-ghastly way of the young man, of being thoughtful.
At Cole Harbour High, in Grade 11, he was on the football team and by his own shy admission, a “pretty popular” kid.‘I felt like if she didn’t want it, it wouldn’t have happened’
He is also brave.
He read a statement in court at the end of his sentencing, apologizing to Rehtaeh’s family and his own and admitting he’d made “a huge mistake.”
“I will not live with the guilt of someone passing away, but I will live with the guilt of sending the picture.”
And he reminded the packed courtroom, “I have pled (sic) guilty to distributing child pornography, not a sexual assault” and said “I never played a part in the bullying [of Rehtaeh], nor would I.”
That was a courageous challenge to the public narrative that has taken root here and far beyond Nova Scotia.
On April 4, 2013, after a quarrel with her boyfriend, an upset Rehtaeh returned home and attempted to hang herself in the bathroom. She suffered lethal brain damage and was removed from life support three days later.
Her mother took to Facebook on April 8, telling the world, “Rehtaeh is gone today because of the four boys that thought raping a 15-year-old girl was OK and to distribute a photo to ruin her spirit and reputation would be fun.”
But if the latter was all too true, the former was very much up for grabs: There were never four boys involved, and as a friend of Rehtaeh’s who was at the house that night later told police and as Rehtaeh’s own messages to friends suggested, there may never have been a sexual assault.
There certainly wasn’t a reasonable prospect of conviction on that charge.
Rehtaeh herself told two friends she’d had sex with the two boys and begged they not consider her “a slut.”
There were four boys at the house in the Eastern Passage area on the Dartmouth side of Halifax Harbour that night in 2011, but two of them spent the night downstairs, playing video games.
That left the two older boys, Rehtaeh and her girlfriend.‘I don’t sit here as a parent and say he’s perfect. He’s not. He’s made mistakes. Tell me a teenager who hasn’t’
According to the boy in the photo, the night before, he, the other boy and Rehtaeh’s friend were also in his room, drinking, and they “kind of got into it, and we did some things.”
(“Did some things” and “did our stuff” is the boy’s code for sex, at least in telling his story in front of his parents.)
The next day, Nov. 12 of 2011, Rehtaeh was with that girl when the boys called to invite her over.
They were all drinking heavily– straight vodka shots – and at some point, the two boys and Rehtaeh headed up to the bedroom.
Police later told the boy they estimated he’d had 11 shots, Rehtaeh eight. He said at no time did he believe she was so drunk she didn’t know what she was doing or that she wasn’t consenting.
“Obviously, if I felt like if she didn’t want it, it wouldn’t have happened,” he said. “It was all mutual. We were in the groove.”
The other girl, the boy said, had stepped out for a smoke, and by the time she came back to the room, “we were doing our stuff.”
The girl was mad – she told police she’d asked Rehtaeh “not to do anything” with the boy, because she had a thing for him – and went home.
But when she arrived home without Rehtaeh, her mother insisted they drive back and get her.
She wouldn’t budge. The girl left again without her, and, the boy said, “That’s when we shut down the whole thing and packed up. I left the house, called it a night, and pretty much thought nothing of it.”
The next day, when the boy “woke up sober” he checked his phone first thing, and found the other boy had sent the picture.
“I thought, ‘Okay, that’s what happened last night,’” and sent it to the first girl. “I just said, ‘Look what I did last night type of thing,” he said. “Kind of bragging about it, but it was a joke as well.”‘I will not live with the guilt of someone passing away, but I will live with the guilt of sending the picture’
For about a week, Rehtaeh didn’t know there was a picture, he said, and during that time, the two endured the eternal misery of morning-after intimacy—albeit, as the boy’s bewildered mother said in the interview, in other times that would not have consisted of a threesome.
“I don’t understand why kids are having sex at parties,” she said, “or two people with one person. To me, I just think sex is something that goes on with two people”. Her husband – they have been married for two decades, together for 23 years – agreed: “In my mind, that’s not how we raised him, to have unprotected sex with anybody, at least until you’re in a relationship with them. Just to go to a party and have sex with someone and now there’s a picture?” He was aghast.
At school, the boy and Rehtaeh “were just like walking by one another saying hi or whatever,” the boy said. “We didn’t stop and chat. I guess we kind of got to know each other too fast that night, so it was a bit awkward going back to school, you know?”
Before they slept together, they barely knew one another. He met her once at a birthday party, thought she “seemed like a normal girl. Same interests as my group of friends, to party every now and then; she smoked dope.”
Another time, two or three weeks before the night of the picture, they’d been at the same party and left together to go to another boy’s house. It was raining, Rehtaeh had left her shoes at the party, so the boy gave her his.
It was about a week after “the incident,” as the boy calls that night, that “the picture started flowing, and then the rumours that Rehtaeh “was going to press charges.”
For almost a year, as the first police investigation was going on, the boy didn’t tell his parents anything.
They watched him grow angrier and angrier, withdraw; his big high school life disintegrating. He got into trouble for turning up drunk at a school dance; he started to smoke cigarettes; he smoked more weed.
His mother said, “I remember looking at him and telling him, ‘I don’t know whoever you are, but you aren’t the son I’ve raised, so maybe you can go away and bring back the one I know.’”
It was only when the police phoned to say the case was closed – this turned out to be temporary – and his father took the call that he confessed all to his parents.
“That was a lot for him to carry around by himself for almost a year without telling us about it,” his mother said. “No wonder I saw so many changes in him.”
And then Rehtaeh died, and everything changed again: Her mother’s furious Facebook post set the narrative in stone; the boy had to leave school under threat (he is now finishing Grade 12 at a community college); his father’s computer was hacked (an angry never-posted Facebook entry turned up online); his sister was harassed by a local woman, who once called and described the family as “rapists and murderers”, and the boys’ names, and even the streets where they lived, were soon public, online.
“I don’t sit here as a parent and say he’s perfect,” the boy’s mother said. “He’s not. He’s made mistakes. Tell me a teenager who hasn’t. If we did something stupid when we were a kid, made out with some boy or something, the worst thing you had to worry about was, was your name going to be written in some stall?”
On the night of the picture, when Rehtaeh Parsons wouldn’t go home, she slept alone in a spare room.
The boy of the house, said the one in the picture, “didn’t want her sleeping in his bed in case she got sick in there or something.”
There it was again, the bloodless, casual cruelty of the young human, same as it ever was, only now, in the modern world, with what the judge called “tragic consequences, the worst ever.”